Are You Listening or Waiting to Respond?

Are you really listening, or are you simply waiting to respond?

Sometimes we listen to defend our position, to correct someone else, or to solve the problem or perhaps were listening for the opportunity to prove that were right.

My mentor, Judith Glaser, founder of Conversational Intelligence®, taught me something that has stayed with me:Listen to connect.

Listening to connect is not listening to judge, reject, or confirm what you already believe.

It is listening to understand someone elses world.

When we perceive criticism as a threat, our brains can quickly shift into protection mode.

We hear the words, but we may stop being open to the person behind them.

So during a conversation, ask yourself:You heard the words, but did you hear the person?

Curiosity can change the entire conversation.

Instead of immediately defending yourself, try asking:“Tell me more.”“Help me understand. What is this like for you?”

Then listen for the answer without immediately deciding whether you agree or disagree because understanding someone does not require agreement.

It requires making room for an experience that may be different from your own.

That is human connection.

So the next time someone is speaking to you, pause and ask yourself:Am I listening to understand, or am I listening to respond?

How willing are you to step outside your own perspective and enter someone else's world?